Between watching Star Wars for the millionth time and finishing the book The Shadow Effect, I have been in heavy contemplation about the dark side, more specifically, in terms of The Shadow Effect, my dark side. There was a time when I would have denied the existence of a dark side in me, the proverbial “good girl”, but I have experienced enough road rage and temper tantrums in my life to know my inner “Darth Vader” exists.
Whenever my dark side emerges, it always amazes me. I guess I never really know how much anger I have been repressing until it bubbles over and explodes like a dormant volcano, or a can of pop that has been shaken too much and then opened by an unsuspecting connoisseur. I wasn’t the only one surprised by my actions. Those who know me (or the image of me I most often portray) were never quite prepared for my Mrs. Hyde transformation! Always ashamed and embarrassed by my actions, I never took the time to understand why the outbursts happened. It was so much easier to blame it on someone or something pissing me off rather than to reflect on why I was allowing those things or people to set me off in the first place.
I’ve heard it said that the people in our lives are reflections of us; those that we love and those that we aren’t so fond of. I used to wonder if this could really be true of all the people in my life. It was easy to see how the people I loved and admired were reflections of me, but the annoying boss? What about the family member that does nothing but complain? How could those people be reflections of me? I am nothing like those people, right?
Upon further reflection and the development of a greater sense of self-awareness, I now realize that everyone in my life is a reflection of some part of me, whether it be my divine light or my shadow. I keeps coming back to me that if the law of attraction is the truth (and I know it to be so) then it has to be true in all things, including the good and the bad I experience in my life.
I have come to see that the people in my life are there to help me learn more about myself once I choose to life a conscious life. Lessons of forgiveness and self awareness seem to be the common these in the experiences I have had of late. While I have done a lot of work in these areas, it is clear I still have a lot to learn.
Whenever I experience feelings of anger or frustration I can now take time out to ask myself what the lesson is. I know that nothing happens by accident or by simple coincidence and I am now at a point where I no longer want to keep reliving the same negative emotions. I can now acknowledge that the less than pleasant experiences in my life are a means of continued growth and self-awareness and not a means of punishment by the universe or anyone else.
I am grateful to be at a place in my life where I can recognize all parts of me; my light and my dark side, my shadow. I know that my dark side exists and it is nothing to be ashamed of, we all have one. Instead of trying to hide my shadow, I will continue to look for ways to shine my light on it, and in doing so do the same for those in my life as well. Feelings of anger, frustration and sadness are not things that we can always avoid, nor should we. When we can learn to see the light, even in our darkest hour, we will be able to shine that much brighter, and the result will be to bring more light to the rest of the world. ♥
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