In honour of my daddy

December 22, 2013 Sandra Dawes

My dad would have been 74 years old today.  I can’t believe it’s been 9 years since he passed away!  I mentioned this fact to

Me & My Daddysomeone last week as we talked about my book launch and my decision to have the party on his birthday.  Since the number 9 is considered the number of completion, it seemed more than a coincidence that this would be the year that I completed and published my first book.  A book about my struggle to deal with the loss of my father and the lessons I learned that guided me back to a place of real joy and happiness.

This book wasn’t easy to write.  My first go at it got me 140-something pages in before I got cold feet and stopped the project.  This was back in 2010.  I still had a lot of hurt and negative emotion that I was holding onto, and the book wasn’t heading in the direction I wanted it to.  I felt like I was forcing it to happen.

Last year, I took another stab at writing the book.  This time, deciding I didn’t want to put “too much” of myself out there, it took a theoretical turn.  I didn’t like that direction either, so got about 70 pages in before giving up the fight.

I started 2013 writing my first article for a magazine.  I talked about my struggle to cope with the death of my father and how I was able to find the “light at the end of the tunnel”.  The reaction to that article that I received from complete strangers gave me the push to try my hand at writing the book again.

They say that the third time’s the charm, and in this case it was true.  Clarity was a big theme for me this year.  Once I got clear on my intention for the book (share my experience with others so that they know they are not alone), writing it flowed easier than I imagined.  It didn’t hurt that I had finally left my full-time job and could really give my full energy to the project.

I dedicated this book to my dad.  I now see his passing as his perpetual gift to me.  Losing my dad forced me to really grow up.  To take responsibility for where my life had been, where it was at the moment and where it was headed as well.  I uncovered strength and courage that I didn’t know I had.  Most importantly, I am constantly learning how to love, honour and respect myself instead of waiting for those things to come from others. 

The fact that the books arrived at my home just a few days before the anniversary of my father’s death and that the book never would have been written if it wasn’t for the profound impact this man had on my life made it easy to choose his birthday as the day I would launch my first book.  I am so excited that I am able to honour him today the best way I know how – to celebrate his life, his legacy and the unconditional love that we both had for each other.  I know that he is celebrating with me today, and that thought alone makes today’s launch an amazing success!

Want to join in the celebration?  You can visit me at Playful Grounds today (605 College Street, Toronto, ON) from 3-7 or you can buy your copy of the book from today!  I think my dad would be over the moon if my book becomes a best seller! 😀

october, 2020

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