Asking for help: weakness or strength?

April 2, 2014 Sandra Dawes

I’ve never been very good at asking for help.  Even when I was in management positions, I found it difficult to delegate tasks.  I Be_Strongguess the mindset that “if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself” has always stuck with me.  It took unmanageable stress, overwhelm and frustration for me to realize that I can’t do it all on my own.

I’ve always considered myself independent.  Growing up, independence was something that was celebrated.  Figuring it out for yourself shows initiative, ambition and drive.  Asking for help is a sign of weakness, laziness or ineptitude.  With these belief systems, it’s no wonder that I found it challenging to admit that I wasn’t Superwoman and couldn’t do it all on my own.

There have been times when I have been offered help and turned it down because my pride wouldn’t let me accept it.   What’s worse is that there have been times when I’ve asked for help and the person or people I asked for help didn’t know what to do with my request because they were used to being the receiver of my help, not the giver.  If there is no one in your inner circle that you feel comfortable asking for help, then it’s time to review the members of the circle!  As T.D. Jakes says, a relationship without reciprocity will die!

I now understand the power of being able to ask for help.  The reality is that no one achieves success on their own.  Successful people have support systems in place that help them through the rough patches, and pitch in where and when needed.  Communication is a vital part of this.  Without the ability to communicate your needs clearly, no one will know how best to help you!  The people in your life aren’t mind readers.  They may sense that something is off, but they won’t know how to assist you if you don’t open up, share and most importantly ask!

We have to be willing to let go of our pride and be honest about the kind of help we need.  When we’re honest about our circumstances, people can offer help in ways that we couldn’t have figured out on our own.  I’ve heard it said that we don’t know what we don’t know and I believe that to be true.  We don’t have all the answers and a lot of times, we don’t even know the right questions to ask!  When we have trustworthy people that we can rely on, whose skills and knowledge base vary from our own, we have the ability to tap into the power of the mastermind!

Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it shows strength.  It takes courage to admit that you can’t do it all and have the willingness to ask others to aid you.  The inability to put aside your pride and acknowledge that doing it on your own isn’t going to give you the results you’re looking for is fool-hearted.  Don’t give up on your dreams because you weren’t willing to ask for help.  Be open to the opportunities that are there to help you achieve your goals.  Know that you aren’t aware of them all and keep an open mind so that you can embrace them when they arrive.  Most importantly, remember to be grateful in all things.  ♥

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