Supporting versus Judging

January 12, 2015 Sandra Dawes

In the last week, I’ve seen a lot of posts and read articles on the need for women to be more supportive of one friends-helpanother. While the stereotype may be that all women are nurturing, it doesn’t always seem to play out that way in real life does it? Whether we’re questioning one another’s fashion choices, physical modifications or companion choices, it can sometimes feel like we’re doing more judging than supporting or nurturing.

I read a Facebook post by Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat Pray Love) which summed up the situation perfectly. Why do some of us spend so much time criticizing the choices of others? If you believe in the freedom of choice, then shouldn’t that apply to all choices that we make (as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else)? Why are we so concerned about what other people are doing with their lives instead of focusing on our own?

Here’s the thing – you may not agree with all of the choices that the people in your life make, but why is that any concern of yours in the first place? Does how they dress, live or do to their body really affect you in any way? Why do we spend so much time on things that we have no control over instead of focusing on the things that we can make a difference with (aka our own lives)?

Personally, I think it’s easier to judge others than to really take a look at how we’re living and make changes in our own lives. Judging the actions of others makes us feel better about ourselves. “My life may be a mess, but at least I’d never do that!” What I’ve learned from my own experience is that judging others may make you feel good for a moment, but it does nothing to fix your own issues.

When we judge others instead of support each other, we isolate ourselves. How can we feel comfortable sharing our own vulnerabilities without fearing judgement from others when we’ve been judging others for theirs? We don’t have to go through challenging times alone. We can’t achieve success on our own. So why don’t we get together and support one another instead of constantly tearing each other down?

Whether it’s a celebrity or a good friend or family, we need to surrender our need to judge others and do more to support and encourage one another. When we do this, we can have more honest conversations, better understanding and the nurturing environment we all need to create the lives we want for ourselves and our loved ones. ♥

march, 2021

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