Have you ever found yourself in a challenging situation wondering how you go there in the first place? For me, the answer usually lies in the fact that I didn’t trust my intuition and said yes to something I should have said no to. I know that I can’t be the only one that’s fallen into this trap! Why do we do it? Why do we say yes when everything in our being tells us to say no?
I believe that the issue lies in an inability to set boundaries. When we don’t set boundaries, we can be pulled in many different directions, none of them the one we actually want to be headed in. When we do things that we don’t want to do, or do them for the wrong reasons, they tend to attract unwanted challenges. Before long you’re frustrated, irritated and often resentful of having to do the task in the first place!
Some of us are very good at setting boundaries and others struggle with it. Why is it a challenge for some to say no when they want to? The key lies in not wanting to disappoint the person asking you to do it. Whether it’s a family member, client, employer or friend there are going to be times when you’re asked to do something that you don’t want to for one reason or another. Not an excuse, but a real reason why you don’t want to commit. It could be lack of time, financial resources or it simply not being in alignment with your personal values and goals.
We have to let go of the guilt that we often feel when we want to say no to something. This guilt comes from feeling like we’ve let down the person who has asked us. Here’s something to remember – in most cases, you’re not the only one who can carry out the task that’s being requested of you. I the majority of situations, you’re inability to do what’s being asked won’t mean that it doesn’t get done. Instead of agreeing to something out of some sense of obligation, when you want to say no, instead of making an excuse, provide an alternative that can still get the job done.
The first step to creating boundaries is being clear on your priorities. Once you know what’s important to you, it’s easier to say yes to the things that are in alignment with those priorities and no to the things that aren’t without feeling bad about it! Boundaries are important to our peace of mind and overall well-being. We can be left feeling overwhelmed, unfocused and worn-out. It is in our best interest to get clarity on our priorities and establish firm boundaries. When we do that, we function at a higher level and are of better service to everyone in our lives. Isn’t that the ultimate goal? We’re all striving to be the best version of ourselves possible. Establishing boundaries is a necessary step! ♥
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