I’m sorry. It’s amazing how a phrase so simple can be so difficult for some of us to say. Some say it just to make the other person feel better without truly having any regret for what they’ve done. Others say it even when they did nothing wrong out of habit. Then there are the ones that inspired this post – those that refuse to say it because it means taking responsibility for their actions and they aren’t ready to do that.
I used to be the kind of person that apologized for everything. If you bumped into me, I would apologize as if I purposely put myself in your way. Maybe that’s why I’m amazed (and slightly put off, if I’m being honest) with people who have such a difficult time apologizing for their actions. I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with admitting you made a mistake, it happens! No one is exempt for making a mistake, or assuming something that wasn’t correct.
I’m reminded of the Ho’oponopono prayer: I Love You, I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You. I’ve used this as a meditation before and it is one I will go back to whenever I need to work on forgiveness. This prayer has some very common phrases, and yet they are sometimes the most difficult to say. There’s a vulnerability that comes with these words, and there’s nothing wrong with that!
Apologizing for something doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It means that you’re taking responsibility for how your actions made someone else feel. It doesn’t cost you anything but a few moments of humility. When we choose to blame something or someone for why we did what we did, we’re playing the victim. I’m no stranger to the infamous victim mentality. I lived there for a couple of years after my dad died. I’m speaking from experience when I say that no one’s to blame for where we are, or our past actions but us.
This doesn’t mean that we beat up on ourselves either. It’s when we struggle to forgive ourselves that we think no one else can or will extend compassion to us. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes. Forgive others. Say sorry and mean it when you’ve done something you know has affected someone else in a negative way. Take responsibility for all of your actions. It won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it. ♥
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