Security vs happiness: what do you choose?

March 5, 2018 Sandra Dawes

I’ve been thinking about this question lately. I think that a lot of us make decisions based on what I think is an illusion of security. Whether it’s staying in a job because it pays the bills, or sticking with a relationship because of the fear of being alone, or the uncertainty of doing it on your own; a lot of us are stuck in unhappy situations.

It’s sad to think that there are a lot of people who are living a miserable existence because they feel that they have no other choice. Fear of the unknown and a lack of confidence that we can persevere; even in the most challenging times keeps a lot of us living a life of regret. Whatever the reasons are, we have to ask ourselves what’s the point in playing it safe, when you’re not happy?

This isn’t to say that I advocate taking dangerous risks in the pursuit of happiness. What I’m saying is that sometimes, we have to be willing to risk what we think is safe in order to find the happiness we deserve. I’ll even go as far as to say that sometimes the universe starts off giving us gentle nudges that it’s time to make a change. When we choose to ignore those subtle prompts, we’re given more obvious, often unpleasant experiences that make us so uncomfortable we have no choice but to make a change.

I remember having a job that I took out of desperation after I graduated. Getting my master’s degree wasn’t cheap and I had student loans to pay off so I took the job, knowing it wasn’t something I was truly interested in, but flattered by the fact I was approached by them. It didn’t take long to realize that when it’s too good to be true, it probably is! I think I lasted a year. I was unhappy, but not really doing anything about it. I was miserable, but thought that I couldn’t do without the steady paycheque. Imagine my surprise when I was laid off!

I’ll admit that I was devastated at first. It’s sort of like knowing that you’re not happy in a relationship, but getting angry because they broke up with you before you could break up with them. I knew I was unhappy, but I was comfortable. I knew I should find something else, but I didn’t make the effort. The choice was made for me and it worked out for the best. It provided me with an opportunity to find an industry I enjoyed working in and those experiences led me to the work I do today!

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we have choices in life. We can choose to live our lives passively and feel like life is happening to us or we can live our lives proactively and create the life we want. You get to choose the happiness you want. You can create the security you need. There will be challenges. It won’t be easy, but in the end, you won’t have any regrets. Isn’t that the life we all want to live? ♥

march, 2021

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