Just because you can doesn’t mean you should!

April 20, 2019 Sandra Dawes

I have a confession to make. I have a problem saying no. I don’t like disappointing people. My low self-esteem and self-confidence made me a chronic people-pleaser with few boundaries. I have gotten better at setting boundaries and saying not to things. The one thing that has made a huge difference is understanding that just because I can do something, doesn’t mean I have to or that I should.

I’m not bragging, but there are a lot of things that I can do pretty well. I’m pretty resourceful, a skill I credit my father with giving me. I love to problem-solve and I like to fix things. Come to me with a problem and I’m going to do my best to fix it or point you in the right direction to get the solution you’re looking for.

My ability to do lots of different things has made it difficult for me to delegate and hire help. My first few websites were done by yours truly because WordPress came easy to me. I used to do my taxes on my own before I became a business owner, because it gave me a nice sense of accomplishment and gave me a realistic idea of my finances at the end of each year. Truthfully, most of the time that I get to the point of asking for help or hiring someone, I’ve already been feeling overwhelmed and frustrated for quite some time! Needless to say my productivity suffers and I’ve lost time I could have been using doing something I could feel good about.

Entrepreneurs are told by business coaches to do what we do best and hire out the rest. The knee-jerk response is that we can’t afford it because we need to make more money in order to justify hiring someone. The business coaches’ typical response is that if you focused on what you do well and are getting paid for it, hiring for the rest shouldn’t be a problem. It makes sense logically, but our fear of the unknown is often what stops us from putting that common sense into practice.

For those of us who aren’t business owners, the concept of when you should hire for help is different but the same. Instead of doing what you do best and hiring out for the rest, the key is looking at what your priorities are and figuring out where you can get help so that you can focus on the things that are important to you. It’s about being aware of what your time is worth so that you know what it’s costing you when you spend your time doing things that aren’t in alignment with your priorities.

We all want to be of help to others. We need to be mindful that we don’t give so much that we have nothing left for ourselves. When we give until our cup is empty, we’re left exhausted, frustrated and if we’re not careful, resentful. That’s why one of my mottos for 2019 is the reminder that “just because I can, doesn’t mean I should.” If I said yes to everything that I could do, I would have not time to focus on the things I really want to do. Since I know how unhappy I am when I’m not doing things that bring me fulfillment, I have to commit to using my time wisely and being okay with disappointing others so I don’t end up disappointing myself.

Are you with me?

march, 2021

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