The Elephant in the Room

June 16, 2019 Sandra Dawes

I’ll admit it – I got caught up in Raptors fever. The good news is that I wasn’t yelling at the television like I used to. Instead, I paid more attention to the interviews after the game in order to understand more about the mindset of a Champion team. I can’t remember who was talking about it, but one of the Raptors players talked about how coach Nick Nurse would talk about the elephant in the room  after each game and I thought it was an interesting thing to do.

Let’s admit it – we all have an elephant in the room. An issue that everyone is aware of but no one wants to talk about because it would require everyone to take responsibility for their part in creating the elephant and decide what they’re going to do to make things better. It’s not a fun or exciting experience to go through, but it’s the only way to make the changes necessary to get the results we want.

I’m guilty of avoiding the elephant in the room. For the longest time I was the type of person that avoided conflict. That meant not talking about the things that were bothering me, not addressing the issues that were never going to go away on their own and remaining frustrated that things weren’t changing. I’ve learned that this isn’t the best way to handle things and that conflict presents an opportunity if we approach it in the right way. Instead of waiting until I feel like I’m going to explode, now I give myself the time and space to figure out what’s going on with me and what I can do about it. Once I figure that out, I talk to the other people involved.

If we don’t deal with the elephant in the room, we will run out of space for growth as well as new and exciting opportunities. We can choose to pretend the elephant doesn’t exist, but we shouldn’t be surprised (or annoyed or angry) if we keep bumping into it. The elephant didn’t magically appear, so the chances are it won’t magically go away! We have to be willing to do what’s necessary to show it the way out so that we can continue to focus on the things that are important to us without distractions.

It’s not easy to deal with the stuff that no one wants to talk about. It’s challenging to have those conversations without placing blame and actually have everyone take responsibility for their part in creating the elephant in the first place. Even though it’s hard, it must be done if we want to move forward successfully in creating the life we want for ourselves. We might not be getting a trophy at the end of it, but there will be satisfaction in knowing that the issue has been dealt with. I believe that dealing with those types of challenges makes future hurdles easier to deal with.

What elephants are taking up space in your life and what are you going to do about them? I promise to keep you posted and share my experiences in dealing with mine 🙂

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