Choice: a blessing or a curse?

July 8, 2019 Sandra Dawes

I’ve got some big choices to make in the next month or so… Correction. I’ve made the choice, and now have to advise those impacted about the choice I’ve made. I’m pretty sure that they won’t be pleased about the choice I’ve made, which is why I’m procrastinating on sharing 😉

The funny thing is that there was a time when I wouldn’t have believed I had a choice. I would have felt obliged to do something that doesn’t feel right to me because I know that’s what people “normally do”. I would have made a choice to please everyone else but me because I feared the judgement I believe will come with the choice that feels right for me.

For anyone who has struggled with getting out of the habit of people pleasing, this can be a tough one. If the need to keep others happy has been your focus for any period of time, you’ve had those feeling that choice doesn’t really exist. As much as the idea that I get to choose can be an incredibly freeing one, it can also be quite scary.

The truth is that when you believe the right thing to do is to put everyone else’s wants/needs/feelings above your own, then the choice is easy – do whatever makes everyone else happy! We start to realize that it isn’t as easy as that when the wants/needs/feelings of the people you care about start to conflict. Do we now have to decide whose feelings matter more? Are we okay with knowing it’s inevitable someone is going to be disappointed with the choice we make?

If you’ve been in one of these situations, you know it’s a lose-lose situation. It’s also an exhausting way to live and at some point we have to ask ourselves if this people pleasing mission we’re on is really worth it? I have come to the conclusion that it isn’t worth the headache or the inevitable resentment that starts to build. I want to make choices that feel right for me and I think that as long as I’m not causing physical harm to anyone, that should be okay.

I’ve often quoted that “other people’s opinions of us are none of our business”. It’s something I used to hear Wayne Dyer say and I think I say it often, not only because it’s true, but also because I need to remind myself of this truth. When we reclaim our power and realize that we do have a choice where we once thought we didn’t it can be a hard thing to accept. Sometimes it can be easier to believe we don’t have a choice because then we can avoid disappointing others and continue to sacrifice our own happiness instead.

If that’s not the kind of life you want to live, one where your own happiness isn’t a priority, then the fact that we always have a choice is a blessing. If you’re not ready to face the fact that putting the happiness of others may lead to sacrificing your own, then choice is definitely viewed as a curse. The good news? The choice is yours 😉

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